Thursday, January 16, 2003

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wishing that i could've known . .

..song of the day. coming later..

i have so much to do.. but i'm online. haha. ok i'll go after i post this. i really want a caramel apple cider right now.. =/ pooper scooper, starbucks should have it all the time. no wait.. i take that back. cause then i wouldn't be reminded that it's christmas time when it is... i don't make sense? yeah i know.

well EVERYONE.. thanks for coming yesterday =) i'm sorry if you didn't have a good time =/ but pleeeease know that i love ya'll

man i barely slept last night.. i was like half asleep. but i wasn't even sleepy at school, so that's good.. i think. haha.
i need to practice *through the rain*.. i just remembered, cause i just heard that song right now..

i'm goin through one of those times when i feel lonely, but i wanna be by myself. confusing, no? my head is full of thoughts.. i need to sort it out.
thank you cat and kat for being there for me. kat.. my shoulder to cry on, lemon 2.. love you! and cat... where WOULD i be if i didn't have 4 classes with SOMEONE?.. thanks for listening and understanding.. and loving! yeeeeah. =)

special people of the day
*miss cathleen silva and miss katherine park*

aaaah, i forgot what i was gonna say.. mtv is distracting me!! well anyway.. gonna go now. be good everyone! =)

here's the song of the day..

song of the day : otown - from the damage

This time
I'm done with always screwing up
I'm sick of one direction, down
I'm a broken picture frame
My whole world twisted inside out
Screaming, voices like a hurricane
Telling me to wake up, get out of bed
Put your feet on the floor
There's fresh air out the door

And I've been acting so pathetic
Knocking around like a ball on a string
It's taking time for me to get it
I'm ready and willing to do anything
To make it up to you

My arms are hurting so bad from being so empty
My heart weighs like a ton cause it feels so heavy
I'm standing here all alone
Wishing that I could've known
You just can't walk away
From the damage

Last time
Playing with a broken string
It don't matter no one's listening
Cause losing you has made me see
I've gotta change
Gotta blame it
All on me

And I've been acting so pathetic
Knocking around like a ball on a string
It's taking time for me to get it
I'm ready and willing to do anything
To make it up to you

My arms are hurting so bad from being so empty
My heart weighs like a ton cause it feels so heavy
I'm standing here all alone
Wishing that I could've known
You just can't walk away
From the damage

My eyes may as well be blind if I just can't see you
My hands may as well be tied 'cause I just can't touch you

Before
The smoke can really clear away
From fires I started yesterday
I know I've gotta find a way
Somehow I've gotta find a way to wake up
From the damage

My arms are hurting so bad from being so empty
My heart weighs like a ton cause it feels so heavy
I'm standing here all alone
Wishing that I could've known
You just can't walk away
From the damage

My eyes may as well be blind if I just can't see you
My hands may as well be tied 'cause I just can't touch you

I'm standing here all alone
Wishing that I could've known
You just can't walk away
From the damage

I'm standing here all alone
Wishing that I could've known
You just can't walk away
From the damage

Tuesday, January 14, 2003

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how to lose a guy in 10 days. . .

that preview is on the tv right now. i wanna watch it!.. and i wanna watch *a guy thing*.. the one with julia stiles. but anyway, the other movie has kate hudson!.. she was partly the inspiration for my concert dress! and flower.. yep =)

anyway.. uMMmMm..

here it is.. the evidence i'll need in the future..
tiCkLeXmEXLaUrA: you're supposed to sing to me
AWAKEoAVENGE: lol
AWAKEoAVENGE: since when to i do things im supposed to
. . . . . . . . .
tiCkLeXmEXLaUrA: do talent show with us!
AWAKEoAVENGE: no time this year homes
tiCkLeXmEXLaUrA: cause were gonna do a boy/girl dance
tiCkLeXmEXLaUrA: :'(
tiCkLeXmEXLaUrA: fine.. but will you at least come and watch us?
AWAKEoAVENGE: sure
tiCkLeXmEXLaUrA: yay
tiCkLeXmEXLaUrA: you promise?
AWAKEoAVENGE: jsut tell me when
tiCkLeXmEXLaUrA: but i thought you don't do things you say you will

special person of the day
*miss narleen kristel narciso.. estrada aka erik's baebygyrl*

.. why? cause she thinks justin is beautiful. and she says he is so perfect. =) she sat two rows behind him at the AMA's!!!.. yaaaaay ate!!! =)

ok guys.. have a good night =).. seeya tomorrow if you're goin. . . =) thanks again to two special people.. =)

Monday, January 13, 2003

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HAPPY . BIRTHDAY . AMBER ! ! ! ! ! !

can you believe i forgot to put that earlier?
we surprised amber after school.. and tony let me drive! yeeeah =) finally.. i haven't driven in the longest time..

ok.. well i'm back to clarify some misunderstandings..
which is why sometimes i don't like to vent in my blog. cause i don't want people to worry about me or anything. yes i know ____ ____ will still worry, but still..

to ****.. i COMPLETELY understand that you didn't mean to make me feel bad or anything like that.. cause that was not my intention either when i wrote the other post. [by the way, i wasn't talking about just your journal.. and plus, it's not like i wouldn't have felt that way if i didn't read your journal, you know?] i know you love me ****!!.. and i love you! more than you know.. =)

but anyway.. it's just one of those thinking days i guess. sucks to be me right about now.. no, i'm jp.

thank you to darren and kat.. you guys are the best.. =)

pooper scooper.. i forgot what i was gonna say.. oh well. byebye everyone. . .

p.s. kris and darren never do their blogs. . .

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i need to fix my life . . .

saw that in lucy's blog. =/
you know those times when you feel like no one understands you.. or what you're feeling.. or anything?
i don't feel like... me. right now. it's like i don't have time to just think about NOTHING. there's always something.. go go go... aaaah. i need to just stop for 5 seconds.
and then i went and read ____ 's journal. i know i'm lucky to have everything i have and have the parents that i have.. and everything else..
so that made me feel even worse.. like i don't appreciate things. errrrrr..


on a lighter note.. i saw nelly yesterday. justin was supposed to be there too cause they were supposed to perform their song together.. but NO.. he had a rehearsal. haha it's ok though.. i still love him. and if you don't look at nelly's teeth, then he's actually very nice looking. haha.
me, ate, and cat were making fun of people. so bad. so so bad. "hey, use that move in the talent show!!" hahahaha

LOVE IS LOVE.. unconditional. and without limits..
=)

quotes of the day
*is that vegetable oil?* . . . cat
*u-s-h-e-r r-a-y-m-o-n-d.. your dad is black!* . . .tony
*tony.. you're so ugly!* . . . cat

hahaha...

special person of the day
*miss katherine park barker* aka LEMON2 aka blossom =)

ok everyone. i think i'll just end w/ this song that i heard today...

song of the day : tyrese - i must be crazy

Hey girl, is it cool if I'm honest
Just hold on, you know that it's hard for me
To say things, things that I promised
And do things that I never thought I'd do

What kinda man's not there when you're crying
What kinda man don't care if he's lying
Now I understand who could be that kind of man
That's me, and I must be crazy

I must be crazy for not taking care of you
And I must be crazy, now I'm feeling like a fool
Cause you were my baby and I was yours, too
It's starting to break me cuz now baby I see
You were right when you said
I must be crazy, yeah

You told me we had a problem
Your girls said you deserve better than me
And they was right, I can't believe it
I've gotta ask myself why

What kinda man's not there when you're crying
What kinda man don't care if he's lying
Now I understand who could be that kind of man
And that's me, I'm so sorry