HAPPY BIRTHDAY JC!!!!!!!!!!...
yaaaaay!

i saw rush hour 2 yesterday..funnyfunnyfunny...hehe...

i'm going up and down and inside out...changing from day to day, monday-tuesday......i just can't stay one way, feelings changing...and little voices inside my head, telling me not to think like that..one day i'm haaaaappy, one day i'm just pissed, or sad..etc....not wait, it's one MINUTE i'm happy, next one i'm pissed...thaaat's better..what's up w/ me right now?..PMS!..NOO, i'm jp...i'm not even on......NM...

you know what i did..i keep writin all this crap..and i whenever i write something..i just throw it all in this one thing...and one day i was cleaning the room (wow!!!..hehe) and then i took it all out...and then i just started writing again..and they ended up becoming songs..and i was talking to pamela on the phone and then i was like "oh no, i'm gonna forget how this goes...here i'll sing it to you ok?"...hehe...well i didn't memorize it..but when i go back home, i'll put them here...

anyway....

*Goodbye* - Alicia Keys
*how do you love someone..
that hurts you oh so bad??...
with intentions good, was all her ever had
and how do i let go when i've
loved him for so long and i've
given him all that i could
maybe love is a hopeless crime
giving up what seems your lifetime
what went wrong with something once so good??

how do you find the words to say
to say goodbye
when your heart don't have the heart to say
to say goodbye...*


still like that song....wonder why...



can't get it off of my mind, why?...it's so unfair for everyone to just go on and for me to act like there's nothing wrong..when there is, but i don't say...don't wanna let this get in my way or bug, but if we don't talk then how am i supposed to move on?...wouldn't it be weird though?..would you be uncomfortable?..i don't think i would, because it plays again and again in my head like i'm talking to you, and you're saying everything i wanna hear..but if we really do talk, i know that's not gonna happen, cuz i think by now you're probably over me and moving on and i just feel like there's negative feelings for me from you..but i don't feel like that i just need to get this off of my mind and i need to get this bad feeling out of my system....

and why is it that EVERYTIME i'm thinking something in my head and then try to explain a simple thing, it comes out all complicated?
maybe it's cuz HE'S complicated..or cuz I'M complicated...maybe were noth complicated...maybe that's why it didn't work out...or WE didn't work out